Pleasure Is the Portal to Integration, Not Escape
A Somatic Reclamation of the Sacred, the Sexual, and the Capacity to Receive
I’ve been wanting to write this piece for a long time.
It comes from years of study, personal and professional, at the intersections of physiology, psychology, trauma-informed sexology, and the esoteric anatomy of Vajrayāna and Tibetan tantric systems where the body is not bypassed but revered as a portal for awakening.
In my work, I’ve found that most people never receive a cohesive map of their erotic anatomy, let alone one that reveals the essential connections to the nervous system; to trauma resolution; to creativity; to a felt sense of safety, sufficiency, and abundance; or to spiritual development.
Sexuality is often treated as a separate domain, cordoned off from the rest of our healing work. But that separation is cultural, not intrinsic.
In truth, our erotic energy is not isolated. It’s interwoven with everything.
With how we breathe, how we trust, how we speak, how we grieve, how we receive.
This piece is part essay, part invocation.
It brings together the permission I often find myself offering clients, and some of the framing I wish more people had access to earlier in their journey.
And as we are opening up for the next round of Sex, G⟡d, & Money, it feels timely and necessary to say these things out loud.
You may want to read it slowly.
Let it land in your body.
Come back to it in quiet moments.
Treat it less like an article, and more like an experience. An opportunity to be in sensual connection with yourself as you read.
The Sacred Practice
You’re lying in bed.
Not collapsed. Not distracted. But completely here, anchored in your body, present with your breath.
The air is thick with stillness. A candle flickers in the corner, casting slow-moving shadows across your skin. You’ve placed one hand on your heart, the other on your sex center. No urgency. No expectation. Just contact. Just presence.
Your breath is slow, warm, and deliberate. You inhale through your nose, filling your stomach, your ribs, your pelvic bowl.
Exhale… melting deeper into the surface beneath you.
This isn’t about climax. Not yet. It’s about presence with sensation.
Your fingers trace slow spirals across your thighs, your lower abdomen, the soft edges of your pubic mound. You are moving not for performance, but for prayer. For remembrance.
A flicker of sensation stirs. Tingles rise up your spine. There’s no need to chase. Just breathe. Just feel.
You begin to notice: there are places in your body that long to be touched… and others that hesitate. There are places that feel electric, and others that feel quiet, frozen, or unsure. All of it is welcome.
Your breath becomes the guide.
Your awareness becomes the doorway.
Your pleasure becomes the key.
As energy awakens in your pelvis, you let it swirl upward. Not through force, but through curiosity. Through imagination. Through allowing. It rises like warm water through the channels of your body, uncoiling through your stomach, chest, throat, and crown. You are moving energy—sexual, yes—but also emotional, ancestral, electrical.
And something is changing. You can feel it.
A memory stirs. A knot unwinds. A new rhythm whispers awake.
You are not broken.
You are remembering.
And now… you get to choose.
You might stay here, resting in stillness, holding space for what arises, letting your nervous system recalibrate and your fascia soften. This alone is medicine. This alone is enough.
Or… you might let the energy build.
You might let your breath deepen, your body move, your pleasure rise—not as escape, but as expansion. You might ride these waves of sensation into something longer, wilder, freer than what you’ve ever been taught to expect.
Bliss not just in your sex, but in your skin, your spine, your soul.
Tears may come. Laughter may bubble. Memories may emerge.
This is not just pleasure, it’s return.
This is not just arousal, it’s healing.
You were never meant to live numb.
You were never meant to carry this alone.
Welcome back to your body.
Welcome back to yourself.
The Truth About What You’ve Been Carrying
Let’s pause and name something that most of us were never told:
If you feel numb, shut down, disconnected from your body, or afraid of pleasure, you’re not broken.
If you feel overstimulated, compulsively sexual, or dependent on release, you’re not broken either.
You’re patterned.
Not by accident, and certainly not by nature. But by systems—personal, cultural, familial, and societal—that taught you (explicitly or implicitly) that your body was something to suppress, control, moralize, or monetize.
Most of us grew up inside a cultural soup that weaponized shame, distorted sexuality, pathologized pleasure, and severed our connection to our energy bodies. Sex ed, if we got any at all, was mechanical at best and fear-based at worst. Most of it said nothing about arousal, nothing about healing, nothing about the sacred, and nothing about the nervous system.
So instead, our sexual energy, the most potent force we have, either froze under pressure, or became a fire we didn’t know how to tend.
And now, we live on a spectrum:
Some of us shut down. Others can’t stop.
Some of us dissociate. Others chase climax as a form of regulation.
Some of us feel nothing. Others feel too much and it’s overwhelming.
All of it makes sense.
All of it is the body trying to adapt.
But adaptation isn’t the same as freedom.
That’s why practices like the one you just experienced—slow, sensual, breath-led, somatic—exist.
To stabilize. To recalibrate. To restore the original blueprint.
Not by overriding your body, but by listening to it. Inviting it. Reconnecting with it.
When breath, touch, and awareness come together in the container of safety, your nervous system begins to unfreeze. Your fascia begins to release. Your energy begins to flow. What was once stuck, braced, or numb begins to stir—gently, intelligently, in its own time.
And when that energy happens to be sexual?
It doesn’t make it less sacred. It makes it more powerful.
Sexual energy isn’t a side note. It’s not a compartment of your life to manage or suppress. It’s your life force—your generative current. It’s the same current that forms galaxies, creates art, nourishes the planet, and brings forth new life. When it’s activated with intention, it becomes one of the most potent tools for healing and transformation we have.
That’s what makes this practice revolutionary.
We’re not bypassing trauma. We’re not bypassing pleasure either.
We’re weaving them back together.
Because the truth is: your pleasure was never meant to be disconnected from your healing. And your healing was never meant to be disconnected from your power.
In this space, there is no hierarchy between erotic and divine, between breath and spirit, between your sex organs and your heart.
All of you is welcome. All of you is needed.
And the moment you begin to work with your energy—sexually, sensually, subtly—you begin to remember: there is nothing wrong with you. There never was. You’ve just been carrying too much that was never yours to begin with.
This is the work.
This is the return.
And yes. It gets to feel this good.
Why So Many of Us Are Disconnected
Many of us carry patterns around sexuality, intimacy, and embodiment that don’t always make sense until we look at where they came from.
In a culture that silences emotion, distorts pleasure, and disconnects us from our bodies, it’s no surprise that so many of us have learned to shut down, override, or leave ourselves altogether.
If you’ve experienced numbness, hypersexuality, disconnection, shame, or confusion around your sexual energy, it’s not a personal flaw. And it didn’t start with you.
Let’s name the systems that shaped these patterns.
Trauma can become present in our system either from an experience of “too much, too fast, too soon” or “not enough for too long.”
These two dynamics form the basis of most nervous system dysregulation.
When your body is overwhelmed beyond its capacity to process, it shuts down or speeds up to survive.
When you go too long without warmth, presence, or space to be, and heal, yourself, your system adapts by freezing or reaching for intensity.
This can come from obvious sources like abuse or neglect, but also from subtle ones: growing up in a home where touch felt unsafe, where your boundaries weren’t honored, or where emotional expression was shut down.
Religious Dogma & Spiritual Dissociation
For many of us, some of the earliest messages we received about our bodies came wrapped in holiness and laced with shame.
We were taught that the body is weak and flawed.
That it pulls us toward temptation.
That the more we feel, the more likely we are to go off course.
That pleasure is dangerous.
That desire is something to repress, fear, or manage.
That purity means silence, denial, or disconnection.
In these frameworks, sexual energy wasn’t sacred—it was suspicious.
And even if you’ve long since outgrown those belief systems intellectually, the residue remains—stored in your fascia, nervous system, and breath.
It shows up as a split between your erotic self and your spiritual self.
Between what you’re allowed to feel and what you’re allowed to believe.
This disconnection doesn’t just create confusion. It creates pain.
Because the very energy we were taught to exile is the same energy that gives rise to life, creativity, devotion, and healing.
You were never meant to choose between God and your body.
You were never meant to split your spirit from your sensuality.
And the longer that split persists, the harder it becomes to feel whole.
Familial Shame, Societal Silence, & Patriarchal Messaging
In the families and cultures most of us grew up in, sexuality was either ignored or stigmatized. We learned through omission, awkward jokes, or fear-based rules. What we didn’t receive was education, safety, or a clear invitation to explore our pleasure with awareness and care.
Instead, we internalized beliefs like:
“It’s not safe to talk about this.”
“My body is a problem to fix.”
“Desire is dangerous.”
“Pleasure must be earned— or hidden.”
These messages settle into our nervous systems. They shape our posture, our breath, our relationship with touch. Over time, they become part of the background noise of how we live.
The Hypo / Hyper Spectrum
When energy has nowhere safe to go, it doesn’t disappear, it becomes distorted.
For some, that looks like disconnection, low libido, freeze, numbness (hyposexual).
For others, it looks like compulsion, overstimulation, or using sex to regulate anxiety (hypersexual).
Many people oscillate between both throughout their lives, never or rarely finding the authentic center of their true pattern of desire.
But neither of these patterns are defects. They are both adaptations. They are your body’s way of saying, “I didn’t know how to feel safe.”
Numbness and compulsion are not opposites. They’re twins, expressing the same root imbalance: a lack of safety, coherence, and integration.
Adaptations, Not Flaws
You weren’t given tools. You weren’t given knowledge.
You were handed silence, shame, confusion, or distorted permission.
And your body and mind adapted. Brilliantly.
But what served you in survival can limit you in intimacy.
What kept you safe then can feel like a cage now.
So this work begins with a reframe:
The question is not “What’s wrong with me?”
It’s “What did I learn to survive?”
And “Am I ready to learn a new way of relating to myself?”
Because the truth is your system can be repatterned.
Your energy can flow again.
And your body can remember what it was meant to feel.
This is the beginning of that remembering.
You Were Meant to Feel
When your body has been conditioned for tension, shame, or survival, you start to believe that numbness is normal. Or that pleasure must always be chased, performed, or earned. But there is an entire spectrum of sensation available to you—one that doesn’t depend on intensity or climax.
There are subtle tingles.
There are slow waves.
There are internal blooms and quiet pulses.
There are spirals of warmth that move through your heart, your belly, your thighs—without needing to “go anywhere.”
And there are also full-body orgasms.
Extended states of bliss.
Tears of release.
Laughter that erupts from your root and ripples through your chest.
Arousal that doesn’t collapse into tension, but expands into presence.
These are not fantasies.
They are your birthright.
Not something to achieve, but something to reclaim.
Sexual energy is multidimensional. It’s not just physical, it’s emotional, spiritual, relational, and creative. It moves through your fascia and your field. It shapes how you hold yourself, how you speak, how you love.
When we start working with this energy consciously, not through performance, but through presence, we begin to feel coherence.
Not a high. Not an escape. But a grounded aliveness. A soft clarity.
A sense that “I belong in my body. I trust what I feel. I can stay with myself.”
This is where the work deepens.
When sexual energy is awakened with awareness, it doesn’t just feel good, it reveals who we truly are.
It brings to the surface what has been held down, held back, or held in.
Memories. Emotions. Patterns. Beliefs.
Not to overwhelm you but to be moved, metabolized, and released.
What your body couldn’t process in the moment, whether years ago or yesterday, gets another chance.
Through breath, sound, movement, and sensation, stuck energy starts to shift.
What once felt locked or numb begins to thaw.
This is how pleasure becomes medicine.
Not a bypass. Not a distraction. But a process of real integration.
By letting your energy spiral and flow not just upward, but inward, backward, and all the way through, reaching the places that once had no permission to feel.
This is what so many of us were never taught:
That your erotic aliveness can be a tool for healing.
That pleasure can loosen what pain buried.
That your body knows how to do this—if you give it the right conditions.
Because your body isn’t a machine or a project.
It’s a temple. A transmitter. A living archive of memory and possibility.
And when your energy begins to move with grace and intention, that truth comes alive.
You don’t have to earn it. You were meant to feel it all along.
This Is the Work of Sex, G⟡d, & Money
Sex, G⟡d, & Money may sound like separate conversations.
But they’re never truly separate. Not in your body, and not in your life.
Each one expresses the same living energy.
Sex is the pulse of life moving through you: creative, sensual, and deeply intelligent.
G⟡d is your connection to the sacred: within you, around you, beyond you.
Money is how that same energy flows into form: how it moves through relationships, exchanges, and the structures that support your life.
When you begin to heal one, the others shift.
When you suppress one, the others get distorted.
You can’t fully open to your pleasure if you’re still carrying shame about desire.
You can’t trust your creativity if your relationship to worth and safety is unstable.
You can’t receive abundance if your body is still bracing for loss, rejection, or punishment.
That’s why this work isn’t about focusing on one area at a time. It’s about reconnecting the system.
Not in theory—but in felt, lived experience.
Sex, G⟡d, & Money isn’t just a course.
It’s a reorientation. A reclamation. A restoration of your natural capacity to relate to power, intimacy, truth, and trust.
As you begin to clear what’s been frozen, numbed, or bound in shame, energy starts to move—through your breath, your voice, your choices.
You may find that old beliefs about divinity dissolve.
You may discover that receiving becomes safer, easier, or more embodied.
You may begin to notice that you’re no longer chasing worth—you’re moving from it.
Because when energy moves with integrity, life changes shape.
Not magically. Not instantly. But undeniably.
This is the invitation:
To reconnect what’s been severed.
To restore what’s always been yours.
A note on Sex, G⟡d, & Money
I wrote this because I kept finding myself saying versions of these words to clients in private, in passing, or at the edge of a breakthrough.
But this kind of reframe and integration of sexual, sensual, and erotic energy is something so many of us need to repattern in our lives.
Sex, G⟡d, & Money is a journey methodically and flexibly designed for that repatterning, a space we created that is designed to empower you to excavate, connect, and choose how you relate to these currents in your life.
It’s a 12-week experience for those ready to integrate education, embodiment, and empowerment in these essential areas of life.
We go deep. We go slow. We move with integrity.
If you felt something move in you while reading this—something uncoil, ache, remember, or reach, just know: this work is open to you.
If and when you’re ready, we’d love to walk it with you.
→ Learn more about Sex, G⟡d, & Money
🖖✨🐌,
My, my! What a piece of writing. I will in fact, save it and savor this recipe for healing in the onslaught of political terror. Have you got any inclination to write about that dialectic? The one between the takeover of human dignity and the restoration of it?
🙏🙏🙏